Okay, Cat.


We get it already. You acted heroically. You shut down one of ours. Yes, he was out of control. No, we don’t know why. But we’ll own him as one of ours. Of course! We’re nothing if not loyal, remember? Right, right — you’re loyal too. Sure. Maybe this time.

Which brings me to the point of this posting. The fact is, Cat, you’re getting all this attention because you acted out of character. Everyone knows that cats are out for themselves. So, because for once in your selfish, self-indulgent “I don’t like that food; bring me other food” life, you intervened on another’s behalf, you’re receiving unheard-of attention. Well, bully.for.you. No, no — enjoy it……while it lasts.

Because it won’t last. You know that, right? One of our kind will do something extraordinary yet again, like pulling Little Timmy from a well, or sniffing out a bomb (at great personal cost, may I just add), or helping a soldier work through PTSD, or even bringing a kid with autism out of his shell, and you’ll be history. You’re right, though: we won’t get as much attention as you have. And you know why? Because it’s an every day thing for us. Because that’s what happens when your whole subspecies —Canis lupus familiaris to you — is heroic. Everyone expects it. The extraordinary becomes the ordinary. It’s the plight of superheroes everywhere. It’s our burden.

So bask in your temporary glory. Enjoy yourself. But don’t expect it to last. We’re going to knock you off your itty-bitty-kitty pedestal in a matter of moments. Yeah, you can dig in your claws. You can try to parlay this into something big, like a meme, or a spot on Letterman or GMA. Maybe even your picture on a box of Cat Chow.Whatever: we’ll give you two weeks. And that’s being generous. Yes, we know what we’re talking about. We’ve been there, Cat. You’re the new kid. And we know you won’t last.



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