Youth is so embarrassing.

Recently I read that a movie I spent an entire summer trying to understand has achieved “cult” status. As far as I can recall (which isn’t much), “Liquid Sky” was about androgyny and lunacy, with some heroin mixed in for good measure. Why this movie was so fascinating, and why it caused me to waste the time I did, I cannot recall, but since it was the 80s and I was very young, I’m not going to worry too much about my motivations.

What I do wonder, though, is why movies with a convoluted and ugly plot often become so popular. And why do certain types of people (namely art students or other creative types) become enthralled by the depravity displayed? Is it inexperience with life which draws us to the extreme and disgusting? Is it our own  outsized emotions (barely remembered in my case) which are echoed in such laughably dramatic films as “Blue Velvet” or “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover” and even “Jules et Jim”?

I don’t know the answer to this question, but I sure am retroactively embarrassed by my own fascination with “Liquid Sky.” I want to own it because it’s part of the mix, but that doesn’t mean the mere sight of the main character below doesn’t bring a blush to my cheeks. So, here’s to youthful stupidity and melodrama. May it revel in the anticlimactic death it deserves: obscurity and forgetfulness.

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