The sad fact is, I know the answers to all this guy’s questions. It doesn’t mean I’m going to make my own ice cream or waffles either, but somehow, at some point, I must have taken the time to learn what pillow shams are, to know which sheets I’ll like, and to discern the difference between a comforter and a duvet cover. And what has this knowledge brought me, you ask, fair reader? What has it brought me in the grand scheme of things?
Nothing, that’s what. My dogs sleep on my shams and dirty my sheets with their paws (I don’t care; I like my dogs better than my linens); I’ve never found a duvet cover that is both easy to use and well-fitting, and my slow-cooker broke long, long ago. I don’t even like ice cream or waffles.
Sigh. Who am I?