Listen! (sound of record needle scratching)

Our mom doesn’t know we’re writing this (in fact, she doesn’t even know we can write, although we are always editing her work, not that she gives us credit), but she’s lying about Claude! She sleeps with all of us, and she holds our tails down when we get too near her face and feel the need to be windy. We girls know she loves Mr. Wonderful, but it’s our bed, too! And we demand our cuddle time and to spread out as much as we like. Sometimes she howls at us for it, but we get our way. And when we don’t, we chew on her fancy Ikat blankets. Ha ha ha!

We just didn’t want you to have the wrong impression.

Very Truly Yours,

Polly, Sadie-Kate, and Mia “Pillow Hog” Mimi

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