Oh, Come On!


Okay, so when I was in middle school, we had cooking classes (and shop, and art, and sewing). One day in cooking class, a certain Eric B. (a fellow redhead, I might add, with possibly the most beautiful light green/grey eyes I have ever seen), and I were goofing off, which was not uncommon behavior for either of us. As I recall, I was told to wipe down some counters with a rag, which I then tossed at Eric behind the teacher’s back. At his first opportunity, Eric lobbed it back at me, only…..I ducked, and it hit our teacher, Mrs. Lash, in the face. A damp, icky rag. Stale smelling, and maybe a little stiff when it dried.

What did she do, you might ask? She laughed. Of course, she grabbed Eric by the collar of his t-shirt and dragged him off to the principal’s office where he sat for perhaps  15 minutes, or until the start of the next class. I knew I was basically dead meat, which meant he would get his revenge, but, such were the rules of 12 year olds at play. I was a fast runner, and skilled at quick escapes, so I felt I had a chance at immediate evasion. Eric had to catch a bus home, which limited the window in which he could catch and torment me.

Did Mrs. Lash file a lawsuit? No, she did not.  Eric wasn’t suspended and/or accused of intentional aggression or violence. He threw a rag. The teacher laughed. Everyone laughed. Other teachers laughed when they heard about it.

So now we have charges against a student for throwing a baby carrot. A BABY CARROT. The stupidity and over-reaction of this school district blows my mind. I never wanted to be one of those people who claimed that things were better when she was growing up, but by God, back then no one took herself so seriously in response to what was literally child’s play.

This world. Oh, this world.


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